Why Is It So Hard to Talk to Boys: Episode 6

Welcome to the sixth episode of the May Wyld West Show. 

So guess what? It's time again for the Mae Wild West Show Notes 

Now let's full send into today's episode. And guess what I did? Fucked up over and over and over again. I can tell you that I, over the last 6 or 7 years that we've been doing this, have screwed up a lot, and I have even made the same mistake over and over again.  Like Britney Spears. “Oops, I did it again.” But I guess that beats the hell out of baby. Hit me one more time.  

And I don’t know necessarily, if they're always mistakes when you've done the same thing more than once. But I tend to make mistakes. The biggest reason I think that I tend to make mistakes is because I am trying to avoid a future problem by not talking about something right now. 

Yeah, I know. Completely unreasonable. But  I don't like talking about my feelings. It's not that much fun. 

Let me set the stage. First things first you need to know is when we started in the lifestyle, I was over 100 pounds heavier than I am now, and sometimes in my head, I forget that I am not still that girl. And that I am a lot more attractive than I was back then.  

I had always been heavier, and I had gotten used to not getting attention from boys or men.  Which is kind of an excuse, but…. When we started in the lifestyle, even we didn't get that many bites. It was a lot harder to find people who wanted to play with us, who wanted to have sex with us, who wanted to have sex with us, and I guess what I felt like with me.  And sometimes I forget that I am not still that lady who is begging for people to pay attention to her. 

One of the ways that this sort of insecurity craziness of mine gets in the way with Mr. West and I and our.  Looking for potential play partners, I tend to be afraid that somebody will quit talking to me. Then I fuck up. And the stupid part is, I don't even know why I do it. Well, I guess I technically I do. I just said, you know.

The biggest way that I fuck this up is through texting people. When you are talking on, say, Reddit or FET life, either my husband or I can log in to those and we can see all the messages. And it's really easy because everybody can see everything and there's nothing that's ever hidden. But once the conversation moves to a like, say, Kik, or moves to Snapchat or moves to just regular text messaging, then with couples, we always start a group chat. Simple, easy. Everybody wants to get to know each other. Everybody wants to make sure they get the vibes. Cool. Everybody's open and honest. It's it's just the way we do it.  

With single guys sometimes moving that to a group chat in like a Snapchat or whatever seems to be a lot harder for me. Irrational fear? What if pushing for a group chat makes this person not want to talk to us anymore? Who the fuck cares? Evidently me. 

So when we started, the rule was always doing a group chat as we've moved along and whenever we've gotten away from it in some ways. You know, I don't think that it is what was best for us. 

I've been thinking about it a lot lately, this slide and bringing this up, because I think about probably one of my best friends and one of the greatest guys that I've met in the lifestyle. I've known him for, well, we've known him forever. The little profile picture on his account had a meme about something to do with coffee. And I love coffee. So that caught my attention and we started joking and laughing.

Through the ups and downs and the times that we have stepped away from the lifestyle, my friend Mr. Coffee has always been there. And the reason why I think this is, is because he has a really good relationship with Mr. West too, because they do group text. 

In fact, Mr. Coffee and I got into this big disagreement because, well, you know, he broke one of my rules or my boundaries limits. And it was Mr. West who got us back together because he was pretty sure that I needed to have this friend in my life. I think that if it wasn't for this group text situation, then that friendship with Mr. Coffee would never have turned into what it is. 

And I can tell you what it is, is some primo dick also just mean, you know, we've only done it a few times, but every time. Primo, if you are a fan of my Reddit profile, you may see a picture of him. He's the one getting a blowjob in the pickup. So you know, good guy, great listener, great dick.  Whew! 

And after writing the outline for this podcast and thinking this all through. My other excuse for why it is that moving to a group chat is so difficult is the idea that it gets embarrassed, or that a guy would be more comfortable flirting with me without Mr. West as part of the conversation. Even he has suggested that is part of the reason why these group chats are so difficult to make work. 

Whether it's because I have a hard time getting into the group chat or the group chat doesn't really seem to work once we're in it. But the question of the day is, does it not work? Because that wasn't going to work anyway. 

Think about it. If you can't flirt with me in front of my husband, then how the fuck are you going to fuck me in front of my husband? And if I can't flirt with you in front of my husband, then how the fuck am I going to suck your dick in front of my husband? So one thing I realized is that the guys that I do not put into a group chat with my husband and I, the chances that we ever actually make it to having sex are a lot lower. And the guys that I don't put into a group chat, the sex that we have is generally not as good.  Causative, correlative, got nothing to do with each other, I don't know. 

So while I may have over the last few months pulled a Britney and oops, I did it again and started individually messaging single guys. This episode of this podcast and this little segment here have made me reevaluate that because I think the key to Mr. West and my relationship and the key to us having a good time and a successful time in the lifestyle is remembering to. Make sure it is about both of us and not just one of us. 

And I can tell you that adding this podcast into our relationship and adding this into our lifestyle journey, as it were, has put a stress on that because it's a lot more about me and me trying to take care of this podcast, and me trying to take care of social media than it is about me or us trying to find somebody for us to play with. 

That's my new goal for the coming months is to stick to the group chats. Avoiding that trap.  And I will say that is the one thing that starting this podcast has helped me to do, and that is putting on my big girl panties and my Batman mask and looking at what I'm doing and why I'm doing it, and whether what I'm doing is what's best for me and my husband and our marriage versus just me and what I want and my orgasms. So I'm sure Mr. West is going to love that.  

So I think we're a little bit short today, but I want to send a special shout-out to one of my listeners, and I'm pretty sure you're gonna know who you are. Sorry, I just couldn't resist. 

I do want to remind everybody to subscribe and check out my social media for more fun stories and polls. I have an Instagram page at Mae Wild West. I have a Facebook page that is made Wild West, and I have read it. That is at May Wild West and that's my Wild West. Also, I have a website and that link will be in my podcast description.  

And don't forget that the Mae Wild West Show is available on Spotify, Apple, and Google Podcasts. I would appreciate you going over and checking out my social media pages, and even putting a review on one of my podcasts would be fantastic. 

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